up with the clock
It’s 6:46 am now on the day of my departure. The clock is telling me to hurry.
"You don’t have much time. Everyone will be up soon and you have to leave in two hours. Now look, that’s another minute you wasted. What if you forgot to pack something? Don’t you think you’d better check?"
Stupid clock! Just shut up!
No matter how many times I do it, I still get a little knot in my stomach before I travel any significant distance. It always feels like I’m going away never to return. It feels like that today.
Maybe it’s because I had such a good time with my family that I don’t want it to end. Maybe it’s because I realize how much older my parents are getting while I’m half way around the world for most of the year. Maybe it’s because I realize that my little cousins are growing like weeds and I can’t see it happening when I’m in China. Maybe it’s because I realize that my brothers’ lives are taking off in different directions while I’m gone. Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t realized until now how fortunate/blessed I am to have my two best friends here in America. Maybe it’s because I’ll miss her and I know that long distances aren’t the best thing for a new relationship.
Whatever the reason, it’s not an easy one. So here I go. I know as soon as I get there, that it’ll be a different feeling all together. I’ll be worried about getting my tourist visa changed to a work visa, my class schedule, getting my suitcase from Qingdao and bringing it to Beijing, fitting in with my coworkers, figuring out where to get food and clothes, adjusting to the time difference and a gazillion other things.
But for now, the house is still quiet. Only the clock on the wall and the sprinklers on the front lawn are up and keeping me company.
