poops, giggles and huh?

We’ve all been there at one time or another; trying to begin
our careers with the job hunt. We’ve all scanned the newspaper classifieds,
internet job boards, filled in countless online applications, attached our
resumes, emailed faceless human resource departments and received automatic
email responses which read, “Thank you for applying with ______________. Should
we determine that your background and skills match the position requirements,
we may contact you…”

The end of that email message should probably say something
like, “But don’t get your hopes up about the job because 50,000 people already
applied for it and 20 of them are related to someone in our company. Since we
only hire people who are friends or relatives of a company employee, you
actually have no chance of securing the position. Come to think of it, we
aren’t really sure why we posted the job opening on the internet.”

Does that scenario sound familiar? Hopefully, you’re one of
the lucky few who was called and interviewed within two hours after applying
for your dream job. Unfortunately, when you’re applying for a job located on
the other side of the country and have little or no experience in the field
you’re trying to break into and don’t know anyone in that field either, your
chances of securing a position quickly seem a little slim. I’m there right now.
Of course, having two smart brothers who are making a very decent living
doesn’t help to soothe my frustrations with trying to land an entry level job
and failing thus far.

All the job sites advise networking and remind job seekers
that thousands and thousands of people apply for the same job. “Do not spam
human resources departments,” they tell us. “Apply only once for a job.” I’ve
tried following this advice and am still unemployed. I can’t network since I’m
applying for jobs in

New York

.
I live in

California

and don’t know anyone in

New York

. Can you feel
the pressure building?

Job hunting with no experience or connections is like being
fat and going to a new church in only your swim suit. Everyone kind of shies
away from you. When you try meeting new people, or networking, the regulars
kind of look the other way and pretend not to see you. “Don’t even dignify
him/her with a look,” they whisper. “Did you see that revolting pot-belly?” On
the off chance that someone does shake your hand, or look over your resume,
they politely do so as quickly as possible. “Does he honestly think people are
going to want to meet him looking like that with no friends in the church?”
they think and ask each other.

Afterwards, when the pastor or email message thanks you for
visiting, you can tell that they’d be happy to not see you again.

“Damn, I should have put a shirt on!”

Do you ever read about read or hear about someone who is doing the bum thing and just kind of wandering from place to place? I was reading the profiles of the people who work at a magazine in China that I’ve written for in the past. Most of them were from countries other than China. They came from the UK, Australia, the USA, and a couple other places. One of the guys (the editor that I’ve worked with before) had a profile that said something like: "After working as a photogapher for several years, I spent time doing as little work as possible and seeing the sight and sounds of North Africa, the Middle East, Europe, and then came to China." He is now an editor at this relaxed magazine and plays in a band. Sometimes that just sounds so good, seeing the world, experiencing things, meeting new people at new places. Sauntering along at a leisurely pace.

I hope that’s me someday. Really enjoying things at a leisurely pace. Soaking it all in.

It was my birthday last weekend. Ok ok stop with the belated birthday cards already. I know you’re all going to start sending emails saying, "Happy belated Birthday! I remembered it but I forgot to send you a card." Yeah right, you bunch of phonies. Stop with the Bullshit. hahaha

Anyway, so my mom arranged a little birthday party for me. I was so happy and surprised! She invited all her relatives and my cousins and my brothers and their girlfriends and as an extra surprise had my girlfriend waiting for me too! It was really nice of my mom. I’m actually a home body and enjoy my privacy so I wasn’t expecting anything out of the ordinary. I wasn’t expecting a birthday party.  So I really appreciated my mom’s thoughtfulness.

Down to business. My girlfriend was here to stay for the week, since she had spring break at her school. Since she lives in New Jersey and I live in California, we don’t exactly get to hang out that much. It’s just not that easy to do. Consequently, I’d never spent as much time with her as I have this past week. I was glad to hang out with her. I really was. But, up until this point, I’d somehow thought she was a perfect person without the ability to do wrong. I thought that our relationship would continue to have absolutely no hitches in it other than the fact that guys do tend to hit on her quite often.

I admit it. I was a little naive. She’s not perfect. Although it was great to hang out with her for the week, I realized that she does have a few faults. I do, of course, but I’d never seen hers before. At least not this time around. Back when we dated in college, I saw them all and broke up with her. This time, I had not seen any yet. So, all of this to say, it’s a wake up call when you realize that your girl/boyfriend isn’t as perfect as you thought they were. I’m still dealing with it and considering becoming a masked bandit………