poops, giggles and huh?

I have a job finally. Thanks, God. Starting next week, I’ll be teaching English in the Empire State Building. I’m just happy to have something after looking for so long. It’s not publishing, but then at least I’ll have a way to make some money and pay the bills as I continue looking. The job is only about 20 hours a week so I’ll need to find at least 1 or two more part time jobs in addition to this. I just feel a little more at peace though. It’s so hard not to get stressed out. I’ve come to realize that I’m not only impatient but VERY impatient. It’s something that I need to watch for. It really causes me to stress about things easily. For now though, I’m not stressed. And that’s a good thing.

I met a girl at the laundromat yesterday. She was old, but definitely still a girl. Her English name was Elsa and I can’t remember her Chinese name. I called her Elsa Ayi (Auntie Elsa). When I first came into the old place, she smiled at me as though we both shared something that other people wouldn’t understand. I think she was just happy to see another Chinese face in this mostly Hispanic part of town. When I spoke to her in Chinese, she was thrilled. Since I had a couple loads of laundry to do, we talked the whole time I washed, dried, and folded my clothes.

She said she worked at the laundromat to help out her friend, who was the owner. But then she waved her hand dismissively and made that "pshh" sound with her mouth.

"I think the owner is just using me to work here because she knows I don’t really care how much she pays me. I don’t like to stay home all the time so that’s why I agreed to work here for her," Elsa Ayi told me. "I think it’s very boring to stay at home. My husband doesn’t understand though. He thinks I should just stay home and cook, and clean, and watch tv like him."

A young hispanic mother carried in a small mountain of laundry with her little boy following in her wake and Elsa Ayi spoke to her in Spanish. After she finished explaining the washing machine to the young mother, she came back over to where I was waiting for my clothes to finish spinning in the washer.

"Are you a citizen?" she asked me. I replied that I was, since I had been born and raised in California. She nodded, waiting for me to say something. I asked if she had any children. She has three children, all of whom live in New Jersey. She also had eight grnadchildren. In fact, they were the reason she moved here. Apparently, they all asked her and her husband to move to New Jersey so they could be together. So, from Hong Kong, Elsa and her husband came to the States. They had only moved here six years ago, but already Elsa’s English is very good.

Since she realized that I wasn’t going to take the hint to ask her about her citizenship, Elsa launched into the story on her own. She liked adventure and doing things on her own, she said. So one day, she decided that she was going to become an American citizen. She had been here five years already so she was allowed to take the test. Elsa studied hard for it. She learned about the constitution, the flag, and all the stuff that most Americans wouldn’t be able to tell you. However, she didn’t tell anyone that she was preparing for the test. She wanted to surprise her family.

On the day of the test, she boarded the bus for New York City by herself because "wo bu pa," or she wasn’t afraid. At the test, she was a little nervous because the test was very long. But she passed with flying colors and went home. When she told her family that she was now a citizen, they were shocked. Elsa Ayi beamed as I congratulated her. She laughed at her cleverness.

"I’m the first one in my family to become an American citizen," she told me proudly. "I want to do something and not just doing the same thing all the time."

A couple of customers walked in and Elsa spoke to them in English. By now, my laundry was about finished so I folded it as she walked around to check if her other customers needed help. After I was ready to leave, I walked over to her. She shook my hand and smiled again.

"I’m very happy to meeting you," she said.

My sentiments exactly.

It’s a large world and it’s small. Are we ever sure of what we’re doing? When do you finally know that everything is right? Old men say to be patient. Some people tell you to get it all done as quickly as possible so that you can be secure. Some people tell you that the pleasure is in the journey and the discovery. I ride the bus and see the people around me. They’re from Europe, from Africa, from India, from all over Asia, from America, from the ghetto and some from nice homes. How many of them know what they’re doing? How many of them are content? How many are ambitious? Being unsure and desperate makes you do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do.

Yesterday, I paid some random person $40 to take my resume up to his company’s Human Resources department (security wouldn’t let me in the building so I stopped one of the office workers when he went outside). That was ballsy for me. I’m not usually that kind of adventurous. Yesterday, I walked over 10 miles in a tie and dress shoes to 8 different offices to drop off my resume. My feet hurt last night. Yesterday, I sat in an office for over 45 minutes waiting to speak with a manager who said for me to wait 1 or 2 minutes. I got sleepy. I live in a place I wouldn’t ordinarily choose to. I don’t walk around too much after it gets dark.

When do you become sure that what you’re doing will pay off? When do you know that it will work out, just like you tell everyone else that it will. When do you start believing what you tell all those people who ask if you’re doing ok? Sometimes, you know it’ll be all ok. Sometimes, you don’t.

So tired. I’m in the ghetto. Jersey City is it’s name. It reminds me a lot of Liberty City on Grand Theft Auto. I’ve gone to a couple of interview so far. The first was yesterday and ended very well. I’m pretty sure they’ll offer me the job. That one was in Manhattan but is only a part time position. The one today was a disaster….

I intereviewed at a place called Zoni Language Center, which is an ESL center for mostly working adults. The branch I interviewed at is located in another slummy town called West New York. Everything went great until the director told me to teach him him about the Present Perfect Tense. Easy, I thought as I walked up to the chalkboard in the empty classroom. And then, when I turned and faced him, I went blank. I couldn’t remember what the Present Perfect Tense was. He asked if I remembered what it was. I told him that I of course knew it. After a few seconds of standing there with a blank expression, it was painfully obvious that I had no idea what the Present Perfect was, much less teach it. I had to admit the fact and must have been beet red.

We talked for a few minutes about other teaching methods and then he asked me to teach him why some comparative and superlative adjectives end with "er" and "est" while others end must have "more" and "most" added to them; like big, bigger, and biggest versus enthusiastic, more enthusiastic, and most enthusiastic. I didn’t have a clue about the rule so I b.s.ed something about there being exceptions to rules in English or something like that. Again, I was embarassed when he told me the simple rule that adjectives which are one syllable long end with "er" or "est" while longer verbs utilize "more" and "most."

At that point, I couldn’t wait for him to tell me that my English skills were terrible so that I could get out of there as soon as possible. However, I did my best with the rest of the interview and he ended up offering me the job. I’m not sure how or why. But he did.

Unfortunately, i don’t think I’ll be taking it. 3 months of training. And after the interview today, I’ll feel like he’s doing me a favor by hiring me and I’ll feel bad if I decide to leave during the middle of training.

Anyway, so, I have another interview tomorrow morning. I hope it goes better than today’s. I’m just a little overwhelmed with everything so far and my head’s spinning a little. But I’ll be ok, eventually.