“F” for josh
I am aware of my failings. I have many of them.
My mom and dad are leaving tonight. I know they were bored while they were here. I really was a terrible host. I didn’t take them anywhere cool, I got impatient with my dad and mom, I didn’t get to pay for any meals with them (mom always beat me)…
I could tell my mom felt sorry for me when she saw where I live. She told me that she and my dad would help me out with some money so I can move to a better place. I was a little embarassed. Not because of where or how I live, but because at my age with my education, I couldn’t be the one helping my parents out by giving them money. Instead, my parents want to give me money.
Probably the one thing they did enjoy while they were here was being with Susan and her parents. At least I made a good choice in that department. I couldn’t ask for better. She was great as were her parents and family.
Sometimes I tell myself that I haven’t done so well financially because I’m the free spirit in the family. I’m the one who will move anywhere in the world if I feel like it and money isn’t important to me. Sometimes I tell myself that I don’t have much money because I didn’t study hard enough in school. If I’d studied harder I might be doing well.
I guess I sometimes feel like I’ve failed and I don’t know how to fix myself.
I know I’ve made lots of mistakes and continue to do that but I just wish they weren’t so damn obvious.
September 28th, 2006 at 5:54 pm
hey, you’re not the only one who totally misses China. Florida’s lonely- never take a receptionists job (thank God it’s only temporary). If one more person tells me I did something wrong- even though half the time they haven’t told me what they wanted or how they wanted it to be done in the first place, I’m going to scream. I hate being back in the States- I sit and look at Pictures of China. I think I talked Brian into going this summer- maybe I’ll go and stay. I need Hannah… and a drink. No more gin- after that weekend where we drank it straight from the bottle… really sick the next day:) Wanna come to Florida? Brian and I have extra room. I hate being lonely- makes me feel better to read your blogs. Guess it feels like I’m not alone. Thanks!!! G-wood
P.S. Miss the times of all living in one building… basketball was fun:)
September 28th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
P.S.S. You don’t need to feel like you need to support your parents until you’re in your 40’s right? B/c if that’s the case, Brian and I are screwed, total failures as well:) YEAH!!!